The clip, shared by 6abc Action News under the excellent headline “Porch Pirate Pooch,” shows the dog approaching the house, apparently having tracked the scent of the delivery from some distance. He inspects the dropped order, identifies the steaks, grabs the package, and trots off without a backward glance. No hesitation. No accomplices. No delivery driver in sight.

Let the record show this was a clean job. He cased the drop, took only the ribeyes, and exited without looking at the camera he almost certainly didn’t know was there. Most human porch pirates get less done and look guiltier doing it.

It is unclear whether the dog belongs to someone nearby or is a stray working freelance. Either way, he appeared to be hungry and operating on the entirely reasonable canine assumption that unattended meat on the ground is, functionally, a gift.

This is worth a gentle public-service note, because it is the one genuinely unfunny part: cooked or seasoned steak, bones, and rich fatty cuts can cause real digestive trouble for dogs, and swallowed bones are a serious hazard. A triumphant ribeye heist can end at the emergency vet.

For now, though, the footage stands as a small masterpiece of the genre — a hungry dog, a doorstep, and a plan that worked perfectly. He got away with it, too.